There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
