Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
The Olympian is in my bed
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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