that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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