There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
