Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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