i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
