life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
