Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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