PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
