judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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