This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
