There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
