Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
