I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
