Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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