with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
