my phone needs a breathalizer
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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