The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Randomize
