just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
