The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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