You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
