Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Randomize
