Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Someone stole a lamp last night.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize