Midget sex pt 2 tonight
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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