But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
