haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
