hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Do vagina's smell?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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