Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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