Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
