My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
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