Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Randomize
