My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
