it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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