I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
