sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
