If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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