FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
