I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
