Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
That was an excessively violent trivia night
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
