Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
