Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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