There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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