So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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