her vagine was all disorganized.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
