I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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