So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
