is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
