I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
We need to rekindle our bromance
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Randomize
