In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Randomize
