he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
