3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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