you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
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