No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
