...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
