this beer tastes like vomit already
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Randomize
