I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
