my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
