i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
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I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
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dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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