everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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