I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Randomize
