I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Randomize
